One down, but still a lot more options to go…

I had a CT scan done last Tuesday and today I had an appointment to get the results.  The reality is, I called in last week and already knew that two new spots were now showing up on my liver.

Is this the news I wanted to hear?  No, but it is NOT the end of the world either.

I should start off by saying all my other mets are stable, as is the tumour in my breast, and the spots on my liver are less than 1 cm each and therefore really have no impact on the functioning of my liver – in fact my blood work is perfect showing that everything is working as it should.  However, the fact that two new spots are showing up indicates that tamoxifen is no longer working as it should be.

What does this mean?  Essentially, because I am so young, there is too much estrogen still being produced by my ovaries (which are up an running again) that tamoxifen can no longer keep up.  So I will now have my ovaries shut down to really put a stop to the estrogen production in my body.  To do this I have three options – surgically remove them, radiate them or use an injectable drug called Zoladex (thank you AstraZeneca!).  My oncologist and I both agreed that Zoladex was the best route and so I had my first injection today.  When I saw the needle I almost shit my pants – it is quite thick as it injects a pellet, rather than just a liquid.  But, my nurse is so awesome, I didn’t even feel it.  Shutting down my ovaries is in itself an actual cancer treatment as that on its own will drastically lower the estrogen circulating through my body.  Remember, my cancer is fuelled by estrogen.  In a month from now I will see my oncologist again and based on how I react to the Zoladex I will start my new medication – letrozole, which like tamoxifen, is a hormonal treatment.

I feel bad for the people around me, because this is going to throw me into menopause and I’m aware I can get pretty moody.  So, please accept this as my apology in advance of any bitchy behaviour 🙂

While I was initially devastated by the news I was also embarrassed to hear that my cancer had spread – felt I was too cocky in thinking my healthy eating, juicing, rebounding and sauna would keep my cancer at bay.  While there is some progression, I still feel great and healthy, which is why I am not giving up on my new lifestyle – … except for today!!!

Today is my cheat day, and let me tell you, it was amazing!!!  While I do enjoy the food I eat now, I am not going to lie and say that I don’t miss a lot of foods I use to eat, so today I went all out:

• Breakfast:  Bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich with a side of chocolate chip pancakes

• Lunch: Pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut

• Afternoon snack: White pasta, butter and a pile of parmigiano-reggiano

• Dinner: Marinated flank stake, twice baked potatoes loaded with butter and cheese, asparagus with lemon and parmigiano-reggiano, caesar salad (from a box)

• Dessert: World Class Chocolate Ice-cream from Baskin-Robbins

So that is my update – again, thank you to everyone for sending me good vibes and encouraging words!!!  Love to you all!!!

xoxo